Live and Breathe
by Mercy
Summary: Four months after the battle with the First, Buffy finds herself heartbroken and now only one Slayer amongst the new generation of Slayers and facing a destiny alone that she’d never expected to ever happen….until the return of someone thought lost in the
1. Chapter 1

Live and Breathe

By Mercy

NC-17

Summary: Four months after the battle with the First, Buffy finds herself heartbroken and now only one Slayer amongst the new generation of Slayers and facing a destiny alone that she'd never expected to ever happen….until the return of someone thought lost in the darkness.

A/N: Follows some canon but goes totally AU immediately. Set post Chosen (Buffy Season 7) and immediately diverts away from cannon in Destiny (Angel Season 5).

Spoilers for Buffy season 6 & 7 and Angel season 5. Aspects of fiction taken from "Destiny" Episode #96 from 'Angel' season 5, owned by Mutant Enemy and its associated Companies, all transcripts, characters and story belong to them. I have just borrowed them…all other aspects and characters outside this are mine.

For all your Buffy am in no way associated with these links but found them helpful in researching this fic.

No profit has or will be made from this fiction.

For Celestria.

Writing Challenge as set out by celestria from spuffysmut on you want, i.e., angst, fluffy, romantic etc. ANGST

BABE! YA!

Up to 3 things you would like to see in your fic: SWIMMING,

PREGNANCY, BETRAYAL

Up to 3 things you don't want to see in your fic: DEATH,

SPIKE/HARMONY, UNHAPPY ENDING

I hope that I have written a fic true to the challenge and that you enjoy the story…

I'm so exited with this new fic...

Thanks to Meli and Kar for their time and effort in beta reading this for me...love ya!

_Part One_

_Welcome back to destiny…_

"Bugger that hurt!"

Spike grabbed his nose as he realized his head had encountered solid wood instead of being able to walk straight through it. He jerked back slightly in surprise as Spike felt what it meant to have dense molecules collide with other impenetrable molecules of another kind. For a moment, he just stared at the door that lead to Angel's office, stunned at being suddenly corporeal again and shuddering as a fusion of tingling pain traveled down his spine.

"Hold on…" Spike looked up to see the door swing open revealing a dumbfounded Angel peering over him. Quickly getting up, he moved his hands over his now solid body, --- bloody hell --- it felt so real. "I can feel."

Spike moved a step closer to Angel, the look in his eyes triumphant and menacing. With both hands, he poked and prodded the other vampire.

"Hey, stop touching me," Angel tried to push away from Spike's now solid hands.

"Mmmm…" Licking his upper lip Spike tasted the bitter liquidity of the viscous blood that had trickled down his nose from where he'd hit it on the door. It tasted like him, undead but a factual dense mass undead. With envious eyes, Spike noticed the cup of blood in Angel's hand and made a grab for the cup almost tipping its contents over Angel.

"Hey!"

"Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Oh God. Its bloody ambrosia," Spike gulped the blood down and took immense pleasure as its warm contents slid down his throat.

He couldn't think of a time when drinking this poor substitute for human blood had such an effect on him. It was almost as pleasurable as when he'd tasted Buffy's blood under the influence of the First. Almost in a whisper he said her name, "Buffy…" Spike had longed for this moment when he'd be whole again. Even though he had never told anyone in the office, not even Fred, there had been only one thing that kept him holding on. One thing held Spike fast to reality and back from spiraling into insanity.

Her.

Buffy.

Even in the darkness from when he'd disappeared and hovered over hell, the only thing that made him keep his sanity was thinking of her. Every time he had tried to escape from L.A. in those first few weeks, it had been in vain trying to find a way back to Buffy. Everything that Spike was could be found within Buffy.

"Spike, don't go there," Angel had heard Spike's muttering of his old flames name. "Don't even think about it."

"Think about what?" Gunn asked as he looked over the now tangible vampire. "He's corporeal. When did this… I mean, how?"

"I don't know. He just…" Angel stepped closer to Spike. "I don't care how, but Spike, don't even think about going after her…"

"I got it. It must've been that box of flash I got in the mail," Spike interrupted Angel before he could finish. It was none of the ponces business what he did or where he went and diverting the conversation away from cupreous plans.

"You got mail," Angel was now intrigued who would be sending mail to Spike. "From who?"

"Don't know, don't care. But if you see him, give him a bloody kiss on the mouth for me." Spike walked past Harmony as she came to whine at her boss about the phones and her computer that was "now freaking out". Angel pushed Harmony out of the way, as he tried to catch up with the other vamp that was only a blur as he headed for the stairs. "See you Angel. Gonna' find me a girl."

Spike pushed the door open to the stairwell and closed the door behind him, clasping the knob he twisted it until he heard it crack under the pressure. Satisfied that it would hold back Angel for a moment he flew down the stairs. A few seconds later, Spike was standing at the main entrance to the sewers. Spike could hear his grandsire pursuing him, turning around he shouted out one last thing before disappearing into the stench of darkness.

"Angel, I need to do this. Need to know if I've really got a chance with my girl." Spike turned as he could sense his grandsire further away than before. He could only assume that his plea to Angel had stopped him where he stood.

"Spike stop," was all Angel could say in a whisper.

Spike heard Angel's words but he didn't stop and he couldn't stop until he saw her again. He just had to know the truth. Could Buffy have been telling the truth in those last few moments in the cave as he transformed from vampire to Champion? The question had always haunted him when he was the one that had been haunting others and even Spike, himself. As much as Buffy may have said it to make him feel better about the sacrifice he made for her, something nagged him that maybe just maybe she might have meant some of it. Something deep down in his soul was crying out for Buffy and the truth, so much that it wept in it's own sorrowful consciousness.

To know the truth.

Did or could Buffy really meant it when she said those words to him?

"I love you."

_Part Two_

_One amongst a new generation of Slayer…_

"Dawn, you need to strike harder." Buffy watched as her younger sister hit Andrew dressed in a somewhat used huge padded dress-up sumo suit that protected him from the blows of the large pole that Dawn held in her hands. "Put more thrust into your swing."

"Buffy, I've been at it for hours and I'm tired," Dawn looked longingly at the clock on the wall in front of her. "I think that…."

"How do you expect to improve if you're not really trying," Buffy's tone became harsh and sharp towards her sister. "You have to train just as hard as everyone else, Dawn."

Dawn responded by throwing her stick onto the ground and walked slowly up to Buffy with an angry look spreading across her face. Dawn crossed her arms in defiance and stared directly into the disapproving gaze of her sister. Who lately would do nothing but just sit on the bench. As she sat, Buffy would dictated to whoever was training what they were doing wrong and yet she seemed to have given up training and patrolling for that matter as well. Dawn felt that she had a right to be angry with someone who didn't practice what they preached.

"Like you have been training lately 'oh chosen one' or should I say ex-only-chosen-one. You haven't picked up a weapon for weeks finding some pathetic excuse for not training or patrolling. Aren't we good enough for you anymore?" Dawn's voice rose with serious accusations of Buffy's almost utter refusal to do her job of hunting and killing the undead.

Others around Buffy and Dawn where drawn instantly to the heated exchange between the sisters. Dawn's heated tone had caught their attention, as she'd seemed the only one who had the guts to say what the Slayers had been thinking for weeks. Buffy lifted up her face in bravado against her sister's anger and all the other eyes set on them. Crossing her arms, Buffy stood up and got ready for the inevitable showdown that she knew had been coming for weeks. Buffy just had not expended the whirlwind of anger to come from the one person she come to rely on and cared the most about in this world.

The group of slayers all knew that something had to be wrong with their leader, as they had never seen Buffy so lost within herself, or have no direction in her mission. Ever since the fight with the First Buffy hadn't been the same, it was as if something had been ripped out of her and left a void that just couldn't be filled. All of them had given her time to get over the loss of her friends in the battle of the First. To adjust to her new role of leader of the Slayers and time to generally move on with her life but Buffy hadn't seemed to have moved on at all. If anything, Buffy had seemed to have come a complete stall.

No one knew the reason why Buffy was acting the way she was, she'd purposely isolated herself from the others that formed a tight knit community. All they saw was their leader failing in her duty to them and to the world. None recognized the silent anguish that she felt of being alone in a world full of ex-potentials where she is no longer the Chosen One, but one amongst many of a new generation of Slayers. Struggling within herself to carry the weight of being the one that leads those that have been called to the mission.

Dawn returned the posturing of her sister, she couldn't miss the disappointment that fill Buffy's eyes and small amount of liquid that filled her eyes. A look of sorrowful hurt crossed her face if only for a moment, but it hadn't been missed by Dawn as she knew her sister all too well. Dawn had seen her sister struggle even before the First came along, ever since she'd returned from the dead after Willows' spell. Buffy never seemed to be able to accept her return from the after life, things had changed too much even though she'd been gone a short time. People around Buffy had always thought that things would go back to the way they were before she died, but they didn't.

Dawn also didn't need to guess that part of Buffy was deeply missing people that had been close to her and had died in those last few hours of the battle. In particular Spike, as much as anyone was just as important to her as he was, in those last few days Buffy had allowed herself to become closer to him than she'd ever done before. They may have been physically intimate for a few months but this time Buffy had let him into her heart, even though she professed not to love him she'd really come to care about him. Dawn knew she missed everyone, but Buffy pined for Spike, she could almost say that she longed for him to return.

"No, Dawn, I don't think that you're not good enough for me." Buffy sighed as she tried to remain calm and in control. The desire to throw her arms into the air and yell 'I give up' was hard to deny. Turing around she looked at those that stared at her, "I don't think that about any of you."

"Then what's your problem?" Dawn relaxed her posture as she tried to regain her composure and not antagonize her sister anymore than she was becoming. "I don't understand, you don't practice and you don't hunt. All you do is sit on your ass and yell at anyone in your clear view."

"Dawn…" Buffy teeth gritted as she tried to stay cool as she felt her hormones begin to rage inside her. "I don't want to discuss it here."

"Why not?" Dawn pointed to everyone in the room as she was beginning to loose her temper at her sisters' refusal to discuss the situation. "What you do affects us all. Everyone in this room is affected by you. You're meant to be our great leader. So be one."

"Dawn, I said not here," Buffy struggled to control herself as frustration, anger and sorrow began to well up inside her threatening to pour out. "This is way too personal."

"Too bad." Dawn felt that Buffy owed them an explanation and she would be dammed if she and the others didn't get one. "Whatever's making you act like a spoiled kid is upsetting everyone and I think you owe us an explanation."

"You might want know, but I don't think that it's everyone's business!" Buffy voice was staring to crack under the strain of holding onto her reasons for being and feeling the way she did. She'd held back from her sister and the others, deep and personal secrets that were making her life a lonely hell. Secrets that explained why all this was happening to her and telling them might splinter apart the group of Slayers that was still new and fragile. Buffy did not want to have to explain that her personal life was about to explode onto her ability to continue with first being a Slayer and secondly leader.

"Dawn's right, Buffy," Kennedy walked to stand next to Dawn away from the other girl that she'd been practicing with. "We have a right to know why you've been such a bitch lately."

Buffy turned her head sideways to look at the girl that came to challenge her right to keep some things private. Kennedy had assumed the role of second in command when Faith wasn't around, not that she hadn't gained the right by trial and acceptance by the others or pushed her way to the top by being Willow's lover. Pressure was being on Buffy exerted to explain herself by the group. It penetrated through every pore and scratched at her resolve not to tell them. Buffy could feel the cracks begin to appear within her determination to keep quiet, it was becoming harder and harder with each second that passed. Buffy just wasn't ready to tell the troops the facts…not yet.

"You have no right to interfere in my personal life and how I choose to conduct myself," Buffy spat out at the group. "You, also if I remember all agreed to follow me when we fought against the First and you have no right to question me at all on anything!"

"Hang on a minute," Kennedy took a step closer to Buffy. "As I remember we voted you out as leader…"

"And look where that got you," Buffy pointed out.

"What does that have to do with this?" Kennedy started to defend herself and the others that where there when they disastrously choose Faith over Buffy as leader. "That was then this is now."

"Kennedy, I will not explain myself to you or anyone else," Buffy turned towards the door and started to walk out of the room.

"Buffy stop," Kennedy angrily yelled at Buffy and ran over to where she was walking out; grabbing her arm, she attempted to pull the woman back into the room. "We want an answer and we want it now."

All of Buffy's primal protective instincts kicked into action as she picked Kennedy up by the clothes that she wore. Hurling her across the room into the mirror that hung across the whole wall, it sheared into pieces and fell around the girl as she landed on the ground with a loud thud. A groan coming from Kennedy was all that could be heard above the sharp intakes of breathes of horror from the rest of the group as they took in what Buffy had just done to a fellow slayer.

"You want to know the truth fine," Buffy voice was sharp and steely. "I'm pregnant and I'm having my baby. I don't want to play Slayer anymore."


	2. Parts Three, Four and Five

Part Three

Silent shadows….

Finding Buffy had been relatively easy; Spike just looked for the new murder capitol that replaced Sunnydale when it had been reduced to a dust bowl. Spike had seen her the first day he'd started looking for her. By shear accident, Buffy was crossing the street across from where he'd taken sanctuary in one of the few bars open in the daytime to escape the deadly sunrays. It had been so hard not to go rushing out into the street calling her name just so that she would turn around and he could glimpse for a second, just a look at her face. Spike doubted that Buffy would appreciate a flaming vampire running behind her calling out her name.

Spike couldn't help but stand up and get as close to the windows view of the street as the shadows would cover him before he became a crispy fried vamp. Buffy's face was strained and pale, it seemed to have lost all of its vibrancy and tanned colour and she looked lost in a world full of people just walking on by her. By her slightly hunched shoulders Spike knew that something was deeply troubling her, Buffy was never one to express what she was feeling on the inside in her body language. Even the smallest change in body language for her meant something was desperately wrong.

This made it even harder for Spike to walk back to where he'd been sitting; it was the wrong time and place. He had to find somewhere where she'd be alone and they'd be undisturbed by the gaggle of girls that made the merry troop of Slayers, somewhere where she'd be comfortable and relaxed where she'd be herself just like she'd been in the basement of her Sunnydale home. When she'd come down those stairs before the battle of the First, he'd seen her truly relax, let go and be herself for just a while.

Spike had never forgotten what Buffy had looked like when she'd slept trustingly in his arms. Her face had been smooth and relaxed with not the usual frown that she'd come to wear in frustration from the then potentials driving her to distraction. It was more than the slayers she led that concerned Buffy; something was troubling her deeply and it was engraved all over her face.

Spike spent the next two days looking down every dark and dingy alley that he could find in trying to track Buffy. Finally, in the last few hours of night he found what he was looking for. Slayers. A whole band of them was killing a nest of vamps that had taken up residence in one of the seedier sides of town. Spike stood on an old crate that sat just outside the building that the fight was in and peered inside. He watched, as vamps became dust as stakes pierced their hearts, scanning the room he couldn't spot Buffy amongst the slayers.

Sitting down on the crate, he lit up a cigarette and waited for the fight to finish so that he could follow the slayers back to their home turf. As soon as Spike heard laughter and victorious cheers fill the cold night air, he got up and stood as far into the shadows as he could. From the racquet that the slayers where making alone he could tell which direction they were headed in as they now left the building. Staying as far back as he could, Spike followed them back to a fortified warehouse, with girls standing guard at the main doors and on the corner streets.

"Bugger," Spike softly spoke to himself, he had no idea how he was going to get past this gang of slayers to get to Buffy. He remembered how hard he had to fight against the two slayers he had slain in his past, never mind having to fight a whole bunch of them. He had no doubt that they had a 'dust now and ask questions later of the dust' policy with vamps. So that ruled out going up to the slayers and politely asking if he could see their leader. Spike would just have to find a place he could watch her movements and wait it out for the right time and place.

Part Four

Only him…

Silence had become Buffy's companion these days since she had dropped her pregnancy bombshell onto the other slayers. She refused to speak to any of them; even her own sister and old friends got the same treatment. Buffy found it easier not to complicate things even more than for herself by trying to explain things to them, or enlighten them to who was her child's father. That was something that she could be sure to be a hot topic of gossip not that she really cared what anyone thought about it. Buffy had to sort this one out for herself, as she was sure that the remaining Scoobies and Slayers would only interfere again in her life. Like they had previously on numerous occasions, so many that she had lost count and she was i not going /i to tolerate it this time.

A soft rhythmic knock came from her apartment's front door interrupting the silent thoughts of Buffy sitting on her sofa. For a few seconds there was silence again, any hope that Buffy had that who ever was behind the door would just leave were dashed as another round of louder and stronger knocking continued. Buffy rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand as she tried desperately to ignore the intruder that broke her peace and quiet.

"Go away!" Buffy yelled at the door.

"Buffy, it's me Will." A soft voice penetrated through the door. "Come on let me in. You can't hide from the world forever and only come out because the baby's coming."

"Will, please leave me alone," Buffy whispered to her friend, who had obviously been told about her dramatic confession. "I just want some space to work things out."

"Two days locked up in your apartment isn't going to achieve anything you know," Willow leaned against the door, as she knew this was going to be a difficult battle. She smiled at Dawn, who was standing a few feet further down the corridor with a grim look on her face. "Buffy, please unlock the door. I promise a non-judgy talk between two adults that includes an understanding and amenable friend."

"No, Will," Buffy stood up and walked to the door. "I'm not ready to face you or anyone yet. Not yet…"

"Buffy, at least let me see you and know that you're okay."

Opening the door just a fraction, Buffy peered out from behind the door and stared at her friend. Willow's smile dropped from her face when she saw what type of shape Buffy was in, the sad look that covered all her face, the dark shadows under her eyes or her red blood shot eyes. Buffy looked like she had been crying for days and needed a good nights sleep. Willow's gasp of surprise made Buffy become rigid and step away from sight as she pushed the door shut on her friend.

"Buffy, why?" Willow murmured in shock and frustration at her friend's predicament. "Why?"

Buffy went back to the sofa and sat down contemplating that very question. i ---Why?--- /i Because she'd denied him when he was here with her, used him to suit her needs, abused the love and trust he'd given her, betrayed him so many times when it had suited her. In the end, it had all been about her and she had claimed everything that she had granted him back. She had left him with nothing and yet he still had always been there for her when she needed someone.

In the end, he'd been the only one that stood fast by her side when all had abandoned her during the darkest moments before the battle of the First. He had held her during the night, as if she was something so fragile and precious to him. Like she was his only possession he cared about in the world. Somehow then she had even denied him that, he may have held her but he never possessed her. Yet she had never had a chance to realize how wrong she'd been about him and about everything. So wrong…

Buffy realized that there was some truth in the cliché that you don't miss what you have until it's gone. Now that he was gone, all she had was a deep void inside that was gnawing at her very soul. At one point in time, she would have believed that the only lesson she had to learn about being the Slayer was having a successful hunt. Nevertheless, through losing him Buffy had learnt that this wasn't the only lesson that a Slayer had to learn about.

It was to know the difference between how good and evil defined itself, and at a great price, she had learned oh so well, what that difference was. Evil was cold, callous and totally emotionless. Good was just one thing, love. Love could make you feel needed, wanted, compassionate understanding and most of all how to totally forgive someone of almost anything.

Most importantly, that love transcends even the need to have a soul to feel love.

A lesson learnt to late.

For her.

For him.

She had always felt safe in the shadows when Spike was with her. Maybe that's where she had belonged.

In the shadows with him.

Part Five

Betrayal of shadows…

Spike had kept to the shadows watching her for the past few days, close enough to see her but not enough to set off his Slayer radar or her vamp radar. He fully intended on using that to his advantage, as it made no sense in giving himself away just yet. No opportunity had come his way to approach her without someone coming across his path and in his mood, Spike was sure that he'd kill to get to Buffy. So he sat on the roof of the opposite building watching and waiting, until that perfect moment arrived at 3.30am.

No young Slayers covered the front perimeter of the building, all seemed engrossed in a conversation of previous slays as one tried to better the other with tales of the hunt. Spike could hear snippets of the conversation as he passed through the front gate and along the far side of the building. He ducked under the windows as he passed them listening for a certain voice amongst the females, stopping suddenly when he heard the witch's voice.

Willow appeared to be instructing someone in her art of magick and the need not to walk on the dark side or receive its consequences if they did.

Taking a profound risk, Spike stood up and looked into the room, spotting only the Wicca and her student, he lightly banged on the glass with his knuckle. Spike watched as Willow went a pale white and her student grabbed the cross that hung on the nearest wall and ran to the window pushing it against the pane of glass. Quickly behind her student, Willow took the crucifix out of the girls hand and told her to sit down pointing to one of the chairs in the room. For a few minutes all Willow could do was just stare at the figure that stood on the other side of the glass.

"Willow, open the bloody window." Spike pleaded with the witch before a patrolling Slayer caught him with a handy stake in her hand. "Come on Red, let me in."

With some reluctance and disbelief, Willow opened the window and continued to stare at the platinum blond her mouth agog with disbelief. She began to reach out to touch him with one of her hands when her brain screamed it might be a trap of some kind by the local demons to con their way into the Slayers' residence. Pulling her hand back, Willow took a few steps back into the room and sensing that she was about to call out, Spike tried to put his head through the silent barrier that stopped him coming in when not invited.

"See Red, it's me. Your trusty blood sucking vampire back from the dead," Spike tried to explain and reason with Willow. "Willow, I can't explain it out here with all these Slayerette's hanging around ready to dust me. Please Red, invite me in."

"You say it's you, but how do I know it's you?" Willow asked the maybe Spike. "How do I know that you're just not some fiend trying to play me and sneak in to kill us all hey? Answer that one mister?"

"Red, I ain't got time for twenty bleedin' questions?" Spike was getting desperate as he heard footsteps heading his way. "Okay something that only I would know…okay...okay. Think…ummm…okay you umm...you nearly destroyed the world."

"Not good enough," Willow whispered out the window concerned that her student might have gotten the wrong or should that be have the right idea about her past. "Any one could find that out."

"Alright if were going to get personal, I used to call Tara, 'Glinda', before you know that moron you know…" Spike stumbled as he saw the hurt flash across Willow's face. "Okay bad choice…on Buffy's 21st birthday you gave her that vibrating thingy…you know it massaged your back and she really enjoyed using it…in interesting places…"

"Stop, please stop," Willow cringed at Spike as he tried to show that he knew some personal details about her friend that only the real Spike would know. One thing was certain this person was as crass as the real Spike could be and just as indiscreet. "Too much ewhhh for me."

"Xander used to call me Captain Peroxide and the little dweeb reads and speaks fluent Klingon," Spike continued with tidbits of information. "And the clincher would be when Joyce died, I brought flowers to leave at the door and junior said it was just another way to get to Buffy. You know using her mum to get on her good side and there was only you, me and the boy present. I really liked Joyce, she treated me with more respect and dignity than you Scoobies ever did and her hot chocolate with those little marshmallows were pure heaven. She was a real lady, Buffy's mum was, a real human being. Never forgiven the prat for saying those things about me using Joyce you know."

Willow's sharp exhale of bewilderment and the slight swaying of her body showed her shock at the realization that this person in front of he had to be Spike. He just had to be and he knew too much personal details not to be the real Spike. Swallowing hard Buffy hoped that she wasn't making the worst decision in her life, or death if this wasn't the real Spike.

"Come in."

As soon as Spike stood on the carpet of the room, Willow turned to her pupil and pointed a finger at her saying "Sorry, but go to sleep."

Immediately the girl slumped down in the chair and started to snore, as Willow turned to face the vampire again. She had a very guilty look across her face and shrugged her shoulders. Walking around Spike, Willow eyed him from head to toe, Spike didn't look any different from the last time that she'd seen him. His coat even looked the same maybe a little more singed, but every hole that had been in it before he'd became flambé vamp was there. Spike's hair was a little bit more white than blond, but after what he'd done for the world who'd question him why?

"I thought you where dead," Willow pointed out the obvious. "The First…the amulet?"

"Yeah well, hell was no fun so I thought I'd come back and haunt Angel for a little while," Willow looked confused at what he was saying. "Long story, pet," Spike shrugged his shoulders and looked around the room for a quick way out. "Come back to life, well unlife and decided to look up some old friends."

"But Spike…" Willow tried to grasp all that he had said only made her more confused.

"You went up in flames…Buffy said that you where gone. That you…"

"Look love, sorry to mess up our little tête-à-tête but I really need to see Buffy," Spike started for the door. "Reckon you could help me get past the slayers to see her?"

"Is there another apocalypse coming?" Willow looked went from confusion to concern. "Some catastrophic event? Something ghastly to threaten the world again?"

"No Willow, I came just to see Buffy," Spike looked down away from her gaze filled with wonder of impending doom.

"Ohh," Willow looked almost disappointed, "Spike, Buffy's not Buffy at the moment. Probably not the best time to see her now. Maybe you could make an appointment so that she knew you were coming."

"Or so she could bake a bloody cake instead….Red, I'm not here to make any bloody appointment. I came to see Buffy," Spike grabbed her hand and softly squeezed it. "It's important Red, I have to see her and let her know I'm back."

"Spike, I don't think that she'd be up too seeing you at the moment," Willow struggled to keep herself sounding like everything was normal. "She's not feeling the best."

"What's wrong with her," Spike voice was filled with concern over his love.

"Nothing…"

"Red, you just said that something was wrong," Spike voice now laced with threats as he became more desperate to make sure Buffy was all right. "Either you take me to her or I'll kill every little girl that gets in my way. So you play nice and get me to Buffy or I become mister bumpy."

"Spike you wouldn't?" Willow knew that he meant every word of what he said. What harm would it do to let him see her, maybe he could get her to open up to him and talk about the baby. Reluctantly she gave in and walked to the door, "Whatever you do stay behind me and keep your mouth shut."

"What ever you say, Red," Spike moved himself behind her as she opened the door and walked into the hallway.

"I'm going to do a vanishing spell, so we'll not be seen but they can hear us. So no matter what you do keep your mouth shut and don't breathe." Willow made her instructions clear and to the point. "Make sure that you're about two feet behind me at all times. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sergeant major."

Willow quietly uttered the words of the spell that could be detected by the other girls in the building that practiced witchcraft. That was the trouble with other witches; some were powerful enough that they could sense the presence of magik around them. They also could sense another witch's presence in close proximity. The spell was only known to a few of them, if anything it might make the other witches think that someone was practicing their craft and totally ignore them. Yet Willow couldn't think of any other safe way to get Spike securely to Buffy, except turn him into a rat and smuggle him in, inside her pocket. After dealing with rat-Amy, she had a great aversion to turning anyone into anything small and squeaky.

Making sure he did exactly what she instructed him to do, he followed her along the corridor and up two flights of stairs until she stood in front of a large ornate door. They had passed a few girls along the way with his senses screaming 'Slayer'. Spike had to control his demon's instinct to start a massacre, even despite the soul that kept him in check. Spike could feel his slayer radar burning and tingling down every nerve ending as he stood only feet from its source from behind the door. The other slayers he passed had only softly penetrated into his being, but this one radiated through to his very soul, it had to be one he could always recognize.

Buffy.


	3. six and seven

Part Six

Return to me…

Buffy's head snapped up from the back of the sofa as her spinal cord began to tingle and her awareness heightened as she sensed a vampire. Her instincts told her that it was only a few feet behind her very front door and Buffy had no idea how any vamp could get past the perimeter of Slayers. It must have some balls to stand in front of her apartment and she supposed if you wanted the glory of having slain a Slayer than why not go for the pick of the crop. Not that she felt the 'pick' of anything lately and Buffy doubted that a slightly disadvantage pregnant Slayer would be a fun hunt for a vamp.

Sighing, Buffy got up off the sofa and picked up her prized weapon off the wall. The scythe that Buffy had used to chop Caleb up in half and in the Slayer's battle against the First. It would make the killing on her part quick and easy, as she didn't have to do much but yield the weapon at an opponent. The dammed scythe seemed to have a bloodlust of its own and it would lunge effortlessly at an opponent as if it held itself up in battle to make the kill. Making the job of killing evil demons less messy, the scythe seemed to absorb the blood of the enemy as it sliced through their flesh. Bizarre, but it did the job and Buffy was beginning to care less about this oddity, the more she used it.

Slowly making her way to the door, Buffy stopped dead as her senses became overloaded with a familiar scent and agonizing acuity of someone long gone. Buffy began shaking as she started to fall apart from the inside out and anguish screamed from deep inside her. Buffy's heart felt like it had been viciously ripped out of her chest cavity. Pain speared itself along Buffy's body as she leaned onto the door for support before she fell down, letting the heavy weapon fall to the floor. Pure misery flooded her veins as denial smacked its way inside her head and Buffy felt like she was going to snap into two with the pressure.

A hand went to her skull as Buffy's cranium throbbed with contradiction. It couldn't be him. It was impossible. Her nostrils flared with a familiar faint smell of tobacco, whiskey and leather. Buffy could not contemplate anything past what she was experiencing and in every second that past, she became more aware of the vamp behind the door. With a deep breath, Buffy prepared herself for the disappointment of realizing that it was not going to be him.

It wasn't going to be Spike.

Whomever the joker was behind the door was, it going to pay with their life or unlife for plummeting her to back into a living misery. Anger flared along side the hurt and pain as Buffy got up, flung the door open in a split second and charged into the corridor. Fists in front of her ready to beat the vamp to death with her bare hands, Buffy collided with a solid chest, looked up and buckled into unconsciousness. Blackness over took Buffy's awareness as futility became reality, but no one standing close to her missed the two words that Buffy whispered before plunging into darkness.

"My love."

She never felt the arms that closed around her to steady her body, lifted her and gently carried her to bed. Spike laid her down gently on top of the duvet that covered the queen-sized bed. Buffy looked so vulnerable and pale against the Blanc colour of the cover, Spike tried to make her as comfortable as he could on the bed. Standing back he stood rigid as he looked over his beloved, Spike never noticed Willow standing beside him and running a hand over his back trying to comfort him. Willow wasn't blind to Spike's deep torment and pain at seeing Buffy like this.

Buffy had been through so much in the last four months, the battle with the First and then looking over the Potentials now Slayers. Spike had carried some of the stress for Buffy in those last few weeks, comforted her and held her all night. Willow wouldn't swear to it but she was sure that they had become lovers again the night before the final battle. Opening her mouth in shock realization Willow mentally kicked herself for her blindness…lovers four months ago and now…a Slayer four months into pregnancy.

Willow came to the only obvious single conclusion she could and one that would explain a hell of a lot. Sighing, Willow walked over to her unconscious friend checking her breathing and rapid pulse finding that both were returning to normal. Looking at Spike, Willow shook her head in amazement and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. They both had some pretty good explaining to do to each other, especially Buffy. Willow secretly wished that she could be in the room when Spike found out the truth.

Part Seven

Scorch marks…

Spike watched her sleep as Buffy snuggled herself deeper into his chest as she slept in his arms. He gently pushed the hair away from her face as she turned it upwards and took a deep breath as if to reassure herself of Spike's presence with his scent. Spike studied every curve and line that covered her face, softly tracing her eyes, nose and lips to burn the image of her into his memory, along with every other one that he had of Buffy. She looked so relaxed in sleep as Spike thought of all the things that he wanted to say to Buffy when she awoke. Tell her everything that had happened to him, help her with whatever was troubling her so deeply and see if she would have him as her own.

Spike didn't know if he could survive another rejection from her, but he knew that he had to try or spend the rest of his unlife wondering 'what if'. Yet by her words, before Buffy collapsed, Spike knew that there must be some hope. Buffy had never called him that before the battle with the First and hope seemed to be all he had now. Deep in thought, Spike's concentration was broken as he felt her hand move along his chest. He had missed her touch so much. Spike had craved it when he was nothing but a reflection of light, and it electrified him too feel her warm hand sliding across his cool flesh.

Spike took an unnecessary deep breath as Buffy's hand slid down and underneath his t-shirt that he wore, pulling it further away from his jeans, and laying her hand across his abdomen. Buffy's fingers traced Spike's raised rectangular abdominal muscles making them contract as they passed over them. Gently putting his hand over hers and with the fabric acting as a barrier between them, Spike tried gently to guide her hands away from himself. Refusing to budge, Buffy slid her hand up higher, lightly stroking the flesh until it came to rest half on his left pectoral and sternum. Spike held himself completely still and allowed himself enjoy her exploration of him, it was exhilarating to feel her so close after so long.

A memory of their last time that they made love together flooded into Spikes mind, the touches, sigh's and a deep desperation to feel everything. Be everything to each other for what could have been their last time together before they faced the first. As far as Buffy was concerned, it had been and for Spike….it kept him sane…he had something to remember in his darkest moments.

Closing his eyes, Spike never saw Buffy open hers as she woke up, with such a sense of calm for the first time in what seemed an eternity. All Buffy could do was stare at the person that held her with such gentle strength. Buffy looked at every angle of his face that she could whilst he lay unaware of her staring at his chiseled features. Spike had not changed at all; he looked the same as he did the day in the caves when he died to save the world. No scares or burn marks puckered his skin that was slightly warm from her body heat.

It was possible that this was Spike, instinct told her as well as every cell in her heart and being told her this was him, but she had to be sure. Withdrawing her hand from his body and pulling slightly away from him, Spike eyes shot open to see Buffy looking suspiciously at him. He could sense her muscles tighten ready to fight or flee as her face stiffened from the relaxation of sleep.

"Who the fuck are you?" Buffy asked harshly. "And how did you get into my apartment?"

"You really need to ask love?" Spike lifted his hand to her cheek and softly caressed it as he made himself more comfortable sitting against the bed head. "Missed you so much."

"Stop!" Buffy screamed at him. "Just stop. You aren't Spike. He's dead."

"Course 'm dead love, been dead for centuries. Well not centuries…" Spike tried to make light of the situation. "But it's me Goldilocks. I promise you it's me. Your Big Bad's comes back from hell."

"You went up in flames in front of my eyes in the cave and then…then," Buffy stumbled as her voice chocked with emotions. "The caves collapsed and nothing survived…nothing. Sunnydale is just a dusty crater."

"I know, been there and got the T-shirt." Spike began playing with her hair and letting the strands fall between his fingers. Buffy must trust him somewhat to let him be so physically close to her. "It's a long story, and remind me to tell you sometime but I'm back sweetheart. I'm back for my girl."

"I'm not totally convinced it's you…" Buffy was teetering on believing him but need to hear more from him. Physically he resembled Spike totally and all her Slayer instincts told her it was Spike but it wasn't enough. Buffy needed to know that he knew things that only they'd shared, her heart screamed out to know the truth. Was this her Spike? "Tell me…tell me things that only we know and no one else knows."

"There'd be plenty of those, love. Remember you threatened to kill me if I told anyone about our little secrets." Spike moved swiftly as he pinned Buffy gently to the bed with his upper body. "You can move away from me anytime you like."

"Everyone knew that I'd have killed you if you'd told anyone back then. What's so special about that?" Buffy intuitively placed her hands around his back.

"So do you want family secrets?" Spike smiled at her wide-eyed look. "Or maybe something I know about you?"

"No," Buffy's heart spoke for her, "I want to you to tell me things about us."

"There was no 'us', Buffy," Spike spoke quietly and laced with some regret. "You said that yourself."

"I was a fool…" Buffy tried to control the tears that threatened to flow. "Tell me something…something about when we where together."

"We totally destroyed a house the first time we…" Spike for just a moment let himself remember how good she felt wrapped around him them in that house. The passion and electricity that had passed between them as the reality of their desire enfolded them into shadows. If only for a moment in time, she had allowed their passion to consume her and burn him. "You regretted it in the morning and smacked me for it. The most public place we fucked would have been in the Bronze on the balcony…"

"Anyone could know that if they looked deep enough into our liaison," Buffy spat out.

"Love, you want more details?" Spike focused his eyes on her lips and peered down to the top half of her body under his. "Like the way you moved against me when we had sex. The way you tasted when we kissed or I lapped up your wetness. The way it feels when you come around me…or when I came inside of you. The electricity we created when we're close…."

Buffy felt her insides liquefy as he relived the passionate desire and need they'd shared when they'd been lovers. Spike had been like no other man Buffy had been with, he'd always made sure that she'd been just as fulfilled as him and truthfully he'd always put her pleasure first. Spike could extend her pleasure for hours or have enough stamina and strength for her physical abilities. He had been the only one able to bring out the wild side of her sexuality when it was hard and fast or allow Buffy to express her sensuality when sex was slow and passionate. Buffy swallowed hard as she tried to control her physical response to his words but she could feel the moisture begin to pool between her thighs. Memories of passionate and wild encounters flowed through her body as if trying to revive every single moment again.

"Maybe you need a reminder," Spike lowered his head until his lips brushed against her own seeking the taste of her mouth. "Open yourself to me."

Instantly she opened her lips as his tongue plunged in and swirled its rough cold edge along her teeth as he explored her lips intimately. Buffy without any reluctance opened her jaw and allowed his full access to her mouth. They rejoiced when neither ever thought they would be together again. Spike and Buffy, hungrily consumed each other as tongues danced around each other desperate to taste and feel every inch of flesh that they could. Spike felt a subtle heat invade his mouth as Buffy drew out the kiss that became more demanding and passionate. Buffy reveled in the cool effect that Spike's lips had on the burning heat that spread through her body. She hadn't felt this alive since…since they'd last touched.

Need and passion accelerated with each second that passed between them as they offered shelter within each other's lips and embrace. The want to experience more of the other became more prominent and demanded to be satisfied as their shared heat intensified to a consuming fervor. Buffy made the first step forward as she grabbed onto his t-shirt and pulled it up until Spike broke their kiss and lifted the rest of the damn thing off. Spike took possession of her mouth again making the kiss intensely demanding and obsessively passionate. He took the soft folds of her lips between his teeth and gently bit the flesh. Licking the tender area with his tongue, Spike immersed himself in her unique flavor of her own essence that he tasted every time they kissed.

Driven on by their enthralling passion, Buffy touched Spike with wandering hands as if she was trying to trace every centimeter of bare flesh, every ridge and curve of his body. Buffy felt his muscles contract in response to her strokes over his skin, just as she remembered every time that they had been together. Spike arched slightly as she ran palms with fingers open broadly across his back and down to his waist, slipping them around the belt he wore. Buffy grasped the buckle, pulled the end of the leather out from the one loop of his jeans, and stopped when Spike put a hand over hers.

"Are you sure Love?" Spike spoke tenderly and reassuringly. "You look like you've been through hell and back. You need sleep more than this."

"Spike, I've been in hell since the battle of the First." Buffy continued to pull apart his buckle from the leather of the belt. "I need you more than I need sleep. I need to feel you against me again. I've been dreaming about you…this…for so long Spike…so long."

Spike removed his hand from around hers and pulled apart the tie of her pajama bottoms. Eyes locked together as they continued to loosen each other's garments. Spike started to undo the buttons that held her top together and Buffy slowly undid the snaps that held his jeans together. Sitting up for as long as it took to remove Buffy's pajamas and his jeans, Spike quickly returned to her side not wanting to be away from her warmth for a mere second. Leaving Buffy naked, to lie on her back against the mattress and him on his side facing her.

With curled fingers, Spike gently brushed them over her skin starting at her cheek. Tracing her cheekbone as he lightly kissed her jaw line, lifting his head up to look at her reaction as his hand began to travel downwards. Spike traced the top of her lip, avoiding Buffy's attempt to take one of his fingers into her mouth, he made a 'tsk tsk' noise and continued onwards. Down her neck and across her collarbone until he moved inwards towards the slope of her breast, reaching her nipple he ran the hardened tips between his fingers, gently pinching the flesh, and making Buffy moan with delight.

Spike cupped the breast in his hand, tenderly squeezing the mound for a few minutes until he began to brush her skin again with his fingertips. He traveled down her abdomen and couldn't help but notice the slight slope in her stomach muscles. Spike smiled at her, either Buffy had really been working out or she had put on a little weight since they'd last been together. Finally, he reached the top of her legs, brushing his hand over her pussy until he reached the moist folds that separated under the pressure of his fingers. Spike watched Buffy as she reacted, opening her mouth and deeply exhaling as he brushed a single finger over her clit.

Repeatedly he gently stroked the nub of wet flesh making Buffy slightly shudder each time he moved over her clit. Taking possession of her mouth Spike entangled his tongue with hers again as he timed the strokes of his fingers with those of his tongue. Not wanting to be left out, Buffy clasped her hand around the circumference of his hardened cock and began stroking the ridged length up and down. Spike jerked as the warmth of her skin penetrated through the sensitive cooler flesh of his cock making the stimulation even more pleasurable. Even though Buffy felt that she was going to explode it was not enough for her, nowhere near enough. Buffy doubted that she could wait very much longer before she threw Spike onto his back on the mattress mounting him herself.

Knowing Spike, he would draw out foreplay for as long as possible to prolong the pleasure as it heightened the ecstasy of orgasm for them both once they had achieved it. Buffy knew that she just couldn't wait any longer. She wanted Spike. Wanted to feel his cock thrusting inside her, now. Buffy had been dreaming of being like this with him for so long, daydreaming of his impossible return and making love with him so often. Now that it was real, she couldn't wait any longer.

"Please Spike," Buffy begged and pleaded with him. "I need you inside me. Feel your cock fucking me…please."

"Not yet love," Spike pulled his hand away from her wet folds and moved her hand away from his cock as he began lightly to kiss her neck. "Need to reacquaint myself with your lush body, love."

"Spike, please."

Buffy's voice broke as he moved from her neck to her collarbone and finally one of her aching breasts. Tweaking the nipple with his teeth, a sheared wave of pleasure surged a course through her nerves making her feel like she was going to self ignite any second. The flesh between his teeth became flushed and tender as he nipped and sucked at it. Spike swirled his tongue over and around the nipple sending even more sensitive pleasure explosion along her body. Buffy's need to be with Spike as one became precedent as he continued to increase her heightened sensual bliss. Spike moved his head across to the other breast to only tease and tantalize it as he had the other until Buffy could stand it no more. Grabbing his head gently between her hands she pushed it in a downwards motion. Buffy knew that Spike was going to prolong their foreplay no matter what she demanded. Therefore, Buffy did the only thing that she could and gave into the pleasure of ecstasy Spike offered to her.

In a straight line of licks and kisses, Spike made his way down her abdomen and the top of her pubic bone. Turning his head to the side, Spike looked into Buffy's passion glazed gaze and watched as he slipped his hand between her thighs. Telling her to 'spread her legs' which she immediately complied with as it was resistance was futile when it can to Spike's orders. Spike slipped his thumb over her clit and began circling the nub as Buffy felt the shimmers of bliss turn into throbbing sensations of burning need as he increased the pressure and pace.

With his opposing finger, Spike slipped it along the moist fold of her pussy until it slid inside her inner wet passage. Grazing the sides of her as it explored her wet interior as far as he could reach within the warm flesh. Buffy shuddered against him as Spike offered a fraction of the real fulfillment that she was aching for and gasped in a single breath as he teased her.

"More …I need more," Buffy cried out in need. "Need to feel you…I want…nwahh...please baby, do what you do best."

"Is that all I do best, love?" Spike raised a questioning eyebrow, smiled his cocky grin and twirled his tongue against his upper palette. "Sound like I disappoint you in every other part of when I fuck you."

"You know what I mean Spike," Buffy whispered to him. "You make me wet just thinking about all the delicious things you do to me. Please Spike, don't tease me I want you so badly."

"Anything that my girl wants."

Moving himself between her legs, he grasped an ankle in each hand and positioned them on the mattress. Letting his hand travel up and down her legs until her came to rest his fingers over the folds of her vagina spreading the moist folds apart. Locking his eyes with hers he lowered his head until his mouth was level with her clit, slowly he moved forwards and took an excruciatingly slow swipe of the nub with his tongue.

Again and again, Spike repeated the slow and intensely agonizing teasing of her clit with the rough flesh of his mind-blowing tongue. Making Buffy grab his head between her hands and pull gently at Spike's hair as she tried to stop herself from going over the edge to soon. Spike felt her become wetter as he continued to tease her clit and ran two fingers along the crease just below where he teased her clit.

Lost in the maze of lust and desire that fleeted around then, for a split second Spike could have sworn he heard Buffy's heart rate flutter as she cried out in passion. Her heart beating wildly and rapidly in his ears, it sounded like it was almost about to burst. Spike looked up at her the best he could as he increased the pressure that would surely make her heart race even faster than it was. Yet something was different about the rhythm of the beats he heard for just a second, it sounded so close, almost like he could put his hand out and touch it. Closing his eyes for a moment, Spike gathered his thoughts together as his fanciful thinking was making him imagine things that weren't real. He needed to get a grip with himself and get back to what was important to him right now.

Buffy and the immense feelings of pleasure that they were sharing.

Slipping his fingers inside of her passage, Spike began moving them slowly mimicking a thrusting movement that he knew Buffy was craving. Clamping his mouth over her clit, Spike began suckling the small nub, nipping it between his teeth hovering Buffy on the edge of pleasure and pain. Licking her clit at the same tempo as Spike thrush his fingers in and out of her inner walls, making her pleasure double as she continued to struggle to hold onto any sanity she had left. Buffy began to rock her hips against Spikes invasion of her pussy, as she desperately tried to expose herself to more pleasure. Spike responded by increasing his tempo and inserted another finger inside her tight wet passage allowing them both to experience more of each other's flesh.

She had missed him so much during the last four months, longed to feel him again against her body. A single tear of thanks slipped down her face. As she rejoiced in not only the pleasure she was experiencing, but also the elation that someone or something had returned him to her. Buffy quickly wiped the tear from her face, as she didn't want Spike to see her cry even if it was in joy. He would want to stop and know what was bothering her so much that she had shed a tear.

"Let yourself go love." Spike felt Buffy hold herself back as she began to contract against his fingers that penetrated her vagina, as she clamped down her pelvic floor and abdominal muscles. "Come for me."

"No," Buffy whispered trying to control her breathing, "I want to come with your cock inside me."

"Buffy, I'll make sure that you'll come on me so hard that you'll think you're gonna burst," Spike promised her

"No…" Buffy struggled to keep herself in control against the wave of pleasure that threatened to drown her. "It's what I want…to be with you… together for the first time."

"Love, it doesn't matter," Spike tried to reassure Buffy. "I get just as much pleasure, love, seeing you come."

"No Spike."

Buffy pulled herself up and grabbing his shoulder dragged him upwards so that his body lay upon hers. Spike steadied himself upon his elbows as Buffy slid her feet up the back of his legs and rested her ankles across his buttocks. For a few seconds they just looked at each other and enjoyed the reverence they had for the moment they were now sharing. Lifting up his hips, Spike slid his cock in between her moist folds of her pussy and stopped at the entrance of her vagina. Slipping a hand in between their bodies, Buffy took his stiff cock in her hand and guided the head inside her passage just a few centimeters. Slowly inch by inch, Spike slipped his length deeper into her depths, lubricated by her warm juices making their right of passage between them easier.

Spike moved inside Buffy, with shallow circular thrusts making her tighten the grasp she had on his arms, leaving deep marks from her nails as they imbedded themselves into his skin. Foreheads touched as they looked deeply into each other's eyes as if to see each other's soul for the first time. Hazel blazed against blue as they reflected each other in their iris, lost in the abyss of pleasure. Their tempo changed as the frenzy of passion demanded to be feed and as desire licked at their bodies now locked together. Slow shallow circular thrusts of his cock inside her tight passage gave way to hard quick penetrating gyrations of his hips against Buffy's as she grinded up against him.

"Bloody hell Buffy," Spike grunted out in time with his thrusts against her body. "Never thought we'd…ever…" His cock slamming down even harder inside of her as Spike continued with what he was trying to say. "Be like…this again."

"Only in my dreams…never forgot you. Never." Buffy whispered to her lover. "Harder Spike…fuck me harder."

"God you're so fucking tight," Spike spoke between his gritted teeth. "Gonna ride you to heaven and back pet."

Their two bodies jutted against each other as they slid against the other, hardened length against tender moist flesh. Flesh hitting flesh was the only sound heard in the silence of the room; breathing became almost nonexistent as the only thought was of pleasure. Nothing else mattered. Buffy could only feel the hard length of his cock sliding inside of her and the pressure it extruded upon her sensitive flesh. Spike reciprocated the same feeling as he centered on the pressure that her pussy was applying to his cock as her muscles waved in contractions. The need to come became overwhelming for both of them as they held each other even tighter. Neither wanting to let the other go, too frightened that this was just a fantasy.

"Oh god," Buffy screamed as she toppled into the bliss of orgasm, "Now Spike, now. Let me feel you come."

"That's it Goldilocks, let me feel you squeeze me." Spike slammed his hips rapidly into her as he felt his own emanate release into orgasm. "Feel me love," he grabbed her hips and pulled her as closely to his body as he possibly could as he began to orgasm.

The sudden liquefying coolness inside her body sent her into another plane of orgasm that Buffy had never experienced before. She would never in the past allow herself to be so free to fly this high. Buffy felt ripple upon ripple multiply through her body and explode somewhere deep inside. Spike shuddered against her body as he let himself go within her passage and his fingers bit into her skin as he held onto her hips as leverage. A soft groan came from Spike as he stopped shuddering against Buffy and lifted himself up onto his elbows to look at the woman that lay beneath him.

"Always so beautiful with you," Spike gently kissed Buffy on the lips. "Each time so different from the last."

"This time it was different Spike," Buffy lifted a hand to caress his cheekbone. "This time we _made love_."

"It was always love for me Buffy," Spike spoke cautiously to her as this was about the time she would have in the past hit him over the head and ran. Love was something that Buffy never like talking about with anyone. "You know I love you."

"Then believe me when I say that we made love," Buffy returned his kisses with those of her own. "I love you, William."

Spikes mouth opened slightly in shock, she really meant it this time. Buffy had only called him by his given name one other time and that had been to call things off between then. Spike knew that Buffy had to be serious or she wouldn't have said it the way she did. He felt like someone had just given him the keys to heaven and finally let him inside the gates. Somewhere deep inside himself, a void closed making him complete. No one had ever really returned the love that he'd given them, besides his mother, leaving a void in his being so vast and empty.

Dru had been more of an obsession with his possession of her than love. An obsession of the sex, blood and violence with the possession felt between sire and childe. Spike's love for her had evolved and grown. It had slowly blossomed into a deep and poignant love when he had been re-souled allowing him to want to be more than what he was. It had made him a champion; her champion and now it allow him to be complete.

Moving himself away from her, he snuggled her warm satisfied body against his own. Lifting the now array sheet over them, Spike pulled Buffy even closer to himself and felt more contented than he ever had before. He just listened to her slow and shallow breathing onto his chest as he watched her face as she sleepily smiled at him. Spike lifted a questioning eyebrow at her lack of stamina, last year when they had been lovers Buffy could go for hours and now she was tired after making love once.

"Tired love?" Spike tried to keep his voice calm as worry began to creep over him. "You used to keep me up for hours."

"A bit sleepy," Buffy tried to hide a yawn behind her hand covering her mouth. "Have been every day since the morning sickness stopped…" Suddenly she stopped speaking and looked away guiltily from him.

"Ever since the morning what stopped?" Spike felt his gut tighten in fear of what she was going to say, as he hadn't really been paying attention to what she'd been saying. "Buffy?"

"Nothing Spike," Buffy tried to think fast as she tried to cover up her tracks.

"Nothing…I've just been tired a lot."

"Are you sick love?" Spike looked concerned as Buffy shook her head and let her go so that he could look over every inch of her again under the sheet. Maybe he missed something when they made love? "Then what? I know when you're hiding something, love."

Buffy shook her head again and refused to look at him; taking the sheet from the bed she covered herself and got out of the bed. Walking over to the kitchenette Buffy poured herself some water and offered one to Spike, who had gotten out of the bed to follow her. Stark naked he stood behind her and pulled her into his arms as Buffy slowly gulped the drink she held in her hand.

"Something is wrong and I want to know," Spike began to question her again. "Please love, it can't be that bad."

"Depends," Buffy turned around to face him, "on how you look at it."

"Is it good or bad Buffy?"

"Life changing," Buffy tried to smile.

"What's life changing?"

"I'm pregnant," Buffy whispered it so silently that only the vamp next to her could have heard it. "I'm having a baby."

"You're pregnant…_your bloody pregnant_." Spike felt all the joy and happiness he had just discovered, vanish in a nanosecond as Buffy told him the truth. "I heard it. I heard the heartbeat when I was down…fuck…I thought…" He quickly let her go, went back to the bedside and grabbed his clothes to dress himself. Spike pulled his jeans up and didn't bother with the belt, snapping the front until it was done up and turned again towards Buffy. "We just made love. You said you loved me."

"I do love you," Buffy tried to assure him that she did truly love him and wasn't just saying it. "I love you and I mean it."

"You don't understand Buffy, we just made love and you're carrying a kid."

"We weren't that rough Spike," Buffy grinned at his confusion, they had been rather gentle compared to previous encounters they'd shared in the past. "We didn't hurt the baby, I promise you. I know this is a shock, Spike, but I'm happy."

"No Buffy you don't get it," Spike felt like he was splitting into two. "I've been gone four months and wham bam thank you ma'am you're pregnant."

"Spike you don't understand," Buffy tried to explain. "I've been with…"

"I don't want to know his name," Spike roared. "I can't stand to think of you with someone else."

"I've been with no one else but you," Buffy picked up the empty glass of the table and threw it at him. Missing him by a few feet, it hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces.

"Hello vampire, Buffy." Spike picked up his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. "I'm the living dead, love. Only able to shoot blanks. So how's the child mine, Buffy?"

"I don't know," Buffy felt the first tears begin to flow down her face, as he didn't accept her child as his own. "I can't explain it, but you _are_ the father."

"When you can explain it properly Buffy, I'll be in L.A." Spike tried to control the trembling that racked his body. "I love you, even if you were the one that had sacrificed herself that day. I could never betray you with another woman like you have me with another man so soon after I…."

"I haven't Spike," Buffy whispered as the tears began to flow, "I didn't. There's only been you. Only you…"


	4. Eight and Nine

Part Eight

Heaven's a lie…

Turning away from her he walked towards the door to her apartment opened it and began walking down the corridor. A few girls stood at the end of the landing, weapons in hand but not in battle stance. Nodding to Spike as he approached them and letting him pass without challenging him. One called out to Willow, as Spike began to descend the stairs and meet him halfway down the staircase. It wasn't too hard to see that some thing awful had happened upstairs as the pain was etched deeply into Spike's face. Confused, Willow knew that Buffy had come too profoundly care for the vampire since he had died and had missed him dreadfully. Surely, Buffy would have told him that she cared for him and about the baby.

So what had gone so terribly wrong?

"Spike, what happened?" Willow put a hand out to stop the vamp from moving down any more steps. "What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me she was pregnant with someone else's kid, Red?" Spike bitterly accused Willow of this injustice done to him. "Could have saved us both a lot of heartache."

"But Spike there hasn't been anyone," Willow tried to defend her friend and save Spike from making a bigger fool of himself, than he already had. "You have to believe me that the only person that could be the father is you."

"Don't believe you, Red," Spike pointed to himself. "I'm the undead Willow. I can't have children. I'm stone cold to the core."

"Then give me time to find something to prove to you that it's possible," Willow pleaded with the vampire. "Just a few hours to do research. Please, Spike."

"Don't go wasting your time Red," Spike began to walk down the stairs. "Don't know any vamp who's had a kid and doubt that there ever will be."

"Spike, stop!" Willow ordered the vampire, but Spike just continued down the stairs ignoring her. What he didn't see was Willow's signal to the other Slayers on the staircase to halt the wayward vampire. Four Slayers came out of the surrounding areas, unseen by Spike who'd been to upset too notice anyone or anything. They halted his progress as they came to stand in front of him. "Spike, stop or I'll have them make you stop. And it will hurt that I can promise you."

"Will, don't do this please." Spike began to choke on his words as his throat began to well with emotions. "Please just leave this between Buffy, and myself."

"How can I?" Willow moved down the stairs to stop just in front of him. Looking up and down she decided what to do with him. "Take him down stairs to the holding cell."

Spike listened to someone that he considered an ally order his confinement, so he decided to do the only thing he thought that he could do in this situation. Run. Breaking his way forward he made it down only four steps before one of the four Slayers knocked him down and out cold. Blackness granted him sanctuary from the pain and torment he was experiencing from Buffy's betrayal with another man. He'd reached out to heaven only to discover that it had all been an illusion.

Heaven was a lie.

Checking on Buffy, Willow watched her friend have a fitful sleep despite the potion she'd given her to help bring on sleep. Willow had listened to Buffy as she told the story of what had passed between herself and Spike, some details where left out but Willow was told about the significant facts. She held Buffy, as her friend cried until there were no tears to cry and Buffy finally drank a sleeping potion making sure a thousand times that it wouldn't harm the baby.

Thinking for a moment where to start looking for the answer she searched for, Willow smiled to herself as she realized that she might be able to avoid a long task if she knew where to start looking. She knew exactly who to ask that very question. Walking down to the office, Willow picked up the phone book, picked out a number and punched it into the keypad. Waiting for a few seconds, a faintly familiar voice answered the phone.

"Hello, Wolfram and Hart, this is Wesley's…ummm Mister Wyndam-Pryce's office."

It took just a split second for Willow to place the voice, "Harmony?"

"Yes this is Harmony, personal assistant to Angel CEO of…" Harmony said trying to impress whoever was on the other end of the phone. "Hang on who am I talking to?"

"Hey Harm…umm it's Willow Rosenberg. You know Buffy's friend. Umm I thought that you were dead but obviously not," Willow tried to be pleasant.

"Sure am…vamp and you," getting no reply Harmony continued. "So how's Sunnydale?"

"Now witch to the Slayers. Sunnydale is now just a dust bowl, Harm. But enough friendly banter, I need to speak to Wesley, please." Willow tried to remain calm as time was of essence.

After hearing some muffled conversation and being put onto what Willow assumed was hold when she heard only nauseating chimes. Wesley finally picked up the phone after a few minutes.

"Willow, how are you my dear?" Wesley sounded his usually chirpy English self.

"Good Wesley, just hoping you could give me some inside help on something that's come up here." Willow sat down onto a chair near the desk where the phone was. "I was hoping that you could help."

"How can I be of assistance?"

"I'm trying to find out some information about vampires," Willow asked.

"I would have thought that working with the Slayer that you would have had all the information you needed about vamps, Willow?" Wesley was perplexed that Willow would be calling him about vampires. "Doesn't Giles have what you need?"

"I'm trying to keep Giles out of it." Willow whispered despite the fact that no one was within earshot. "It's about Buffy…she's pregnant."

"What? A Slayer pregnant? I wouldn't have thought that she couldn't have gotten pregnant Willow. Didn't she now how to protect herself from that kind of thing?"

"Umm it's hard to explain," Willow tried to think of how she was going to explain the situation to Wesley. "She didn't think that she had to."

"Why not?" Wesley disappointment could be heard in his voice. "I never knew Buffy to be careless."

"She wasn't," Willow just thought that the best plan of action was just to spill it out. "The father's a vampire."

"Oh my god. Angel?"

"No, Wesley, no." Willow stuttered. "Spike."

"Well, well," Wesley muttered to himself. "That's where Spike ran off to…should have seen that one coming. Angel is not going to like that Spike's with Buffy or that she's now pregnant. Angel's not going to take that news very well I'm afraid Willow."

"It's got nothing to do with Angel," Willow spoke up for the couple. "This is between Spike and Buffy. Can you help me or not? I need to prove to Spike that he could father Buffy's baby. He thinks that she'd been with someone else. That Buffy cheated on him but if he knew that he could be a daddy, then maybe they've got a chance together."

"Yes, I can help you considering the circumstances, but this stays between us Willow. If Angel knew I told you then I'm sure he'd kill me himself with his bare hands." Wesley knew that despite the risk it sounded like Willow needed to know the truth about Connor, Angel's son with Darla, who had been Angel's sire before she dusted herself to give birth to their son. "Angel has a son… and no one knows about him…well almost no one."

Wesley continued to tell Willow the story surrounding Connor's birth, disappearance and return upon the condition that she never name him as the source of his information. He also told her of the prophecy foretelling of Connor's birth. That Willow could use it as proof that maybe a pregnancy was possible between Spike and Buffy, making it clear that it wasn't about them. Yet if a vampire could father a child with another vampire…than why couldn't a vampire father a child with a human. Satisfied with what she'd learnt, Willow gave her thanks to Wesley and hung up. Tapping her hands on top of the desk, she thought about how to use the information to make Spike see sense and be reasonable about the baby. Clicking her fingers, she devised a plan to do just that and went about doing just that.

Part Nine

Believe…

Waking up with a splitting headache, Spike pulled himself up from the bed where he lay. Swinging his feet over the edge, Spike fought back the nausea that hit the back of his throat. Looking around he found himself a cell surrounded by bars and Slayers, no fighting chance for a lone vamp to escape. That's all he wanted to do at the moment was escape from the pain he'd discovered last night and go back to L.A. to pretend that this had never happened. Forget that the woman he loved carried the child of another man. That Buffy had actually been with someone else so soon after he'd sacrificed himself for her, made his soul ache in anguish. Spike felt like he wanted to cut his own heart out if it would mean the end of this agony.

Hunger pangs jolted him away from his dark thoughts as he again looked about the room for a way out. The one thing that he need to control was his demon. As angry as Spike was, losing control of his demon in the need to feed could be devastating to some poor unfortunate. As he lost all will to care and that could mean a good dusting from some Slayer. He really didn't care anymore about himself or the unlife he lead, nothing really mattered anymore without her.

Hearing chattering amongst the Slayers, Spike's gaze went back to them. Noticing that Willow was amongst them, giving what it seemed to be instructions as she pointed and gestured with her hands. As if by instinct, Willow looked around to see a now conscious Spike sitting on the edge of the cell bed. Walking over she stood in front of the bars with a cup in her hand. Spike could smell the blood from where he sat, he couldn't distinguish the type but it wasn't human. Offering the cup through the bars, Willow extended her hand forward and watched the vamp slowly get off bed to walk towards her. Spike noticed in his peripheral vision that the Slayers in the room standing rigidly straight getting ready to ponce should he do something that they didn't like.

"Got 'em trained well Red." Spike took the cup out of her hand and poured the contents directly into his mouth. "Thanks pet, I badly needed that."

"You alright?" Willow asked, feeling somewhat guilty for instructing him to be struck down by the Slayers. "I'm sorry I just couldn't let you leave. Buffy's missed you too much to watch you leave and you know what a crabby Slayer is like."

"Red, please don't ask me to stay," Spike held onto the bars. "Hurts too much to stay. So either let me go or dust me."

"No need for that, Spike," Willow turned around to the others in the room and nodded pointing to the door. With some reluctance, the Slayers left the witch and vampire alone in the room. "I've been a very busy beaver while you were having your beauty sleep. I found out some interesting things about vamps and babies."

"Exactly what I told you, Red. Wastin' your time." Spike spat out. "Vamp's can't have kids, end of story. Ergo, Buffy's bub can't be mine."

"That Spike, is where you're mistaken…." Willow looked at the disbelief that covered his face. "I have it on good authority that Vampires can and have had children."

"Don't bloody lie to me, Red," Spike spoke to her harshly. "Don't fucking lie."

"I'm not lying to you Spike," Willow reached into her pocket and removed a set of keys. "Have I ever lied to you about anything? This is about Buffy and you. Buffy would kill me if I told you a lie just to make you believe her."

"Then how come in all my years I've never heard or meet these kid's and I've been around, Red. A lot bloody longer than many people." Spike ran a hand through his hair and looked away from a tired looking witch. "So whose been telling you fibs, Red?"

"Wesley wouldn't lie to me."

"That little nancy boy?" Spike shook his head. "Only interested in his books…what would he know? Need's a good shag if you ask me."

"Wesley's been wrong about a few things but not about this. He was there when Angels' son was...ummm." Willow went a bright red; she'd always been one to let things slip out of her mouth at the most inconvenient time. "Spike, it's like this…"

"That bloody ponce has a son and he didn't tell me," Spike was livid at his grandsire for not trusting him enough to tell him. "The right git, just wait till I get back to L.A. and tell him off for not telling me about the boy. But hang on…I've never meet Angel's kid."

"No and I doubt that any of us ever will," Willow moved to the cell door and unlocked it with the keys she held in her hands. "Angel doesn't want the world to know about Connor. He wants a normal life for his son and only a few know about him."

"Connor. Hmm better than 'Liam' I suppose." Spike shrugged his shoulders. "Guess if the poof can have a kid, why can't I?"

"So you believe me…"

"I'm trying too Red. You've never been one to lie and when you do you go all red in the face." Spike smiled at her in somewhat relief in knowing that it was possible that Buffy's kid was his. "You're so easy to read."

"Spike you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even Buffy," Willow swung the door open for him to leave the cell hoping that telling him would make him want to stay.

"If it's true, than I'm not telling Buffy. Ever." Spike shook his head. "This bub an impossible miracle. Red, your secrets safe with me."

"Fine but you can't say a word to anyone Spike, not even Angel. Promise me."

"Fine Red. I promise, never ever to tell a soul." Spike saluted her with his hand. "But how did Angel…?"

"I don't know Spike," Willow hid her hands behind her back and crossed her fingers. "But I've been thinking about you and Buffy, she'd four months pregnant right. Maybe it has something to do with that amulet that you used during the battle with the first. I don't know really. We lived in the middle of the Hellmouth. Nothing should surprise me after all these years. If there are real vampires, then why can't there be slayers impregnated by the souled damned?"

"It doesn't matter at the moment, Red," Spike smiled to himself. "There has to be an explanation to how Buffy got knocked up? I need to know…"

"Already onto it Spike, but I don't think that we might ever have an easier answer. You just have to believe me and trust Buffy," Willow crossed her arms. "Don't let her know that I'm looking for your sake and mine. I'm looking under a protection spell that will give me some stealth. I will call Wesley again, but remember not a word to Buffy about anything. Especially, not about Connor."

"Red, I already said I wouldn't say anything about the ponce's prodigy didn't I?"

"Good," Willow went over and opened the door for them to leave the cell area. "Now it's you time for you to make things all peachy with Buffy. You might want to try groveling on your knees for starters…"

"Red!"

"And cookies. Cookies are good."


	5. Ten and Eleven

Part Ten

Dare….

Spike found Buffy lying on her bed sleeping, the covers around her waist and her hair half flung over her face so that he couldn't see her face. Stepping around the bed, Spike lay himself down on the empty side of the bed, hoping not to waken Buffy just yet. As if sensing Spike's presence, Buffy leaned over and snuggled into his body, nuzzling his chest as she breathed in his scent. Just as she was the first time when he had returned to her last night. Abruptly Spike felt her body tense and pull away from him as Buffy woke up suddenly and scooted to the far side of the bed.

"Mornin' love," Spike spoke quietly to a very angry Buffy that now sat up in her bed. "Or is it afternoon love? Not sure…"

"Get out," Buffy was simple and to the point, "or you've got a rendezvous with Mr. Pointy."

"Buffy, is that the way to speak to the father of your child?" Spike whispered trying to calm her anger. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry! You're sorry!" Buffy sounded like she was screaming the house down. "How dare you come back here and tell me you're sorry."

"I dare because I love you," Spike tone began to rise up to her level. "I dare because I'm a fucking fool who wouldn't listen to what you had to say."

"There was nothing wrong with your hearing, Spike." Buffy told him. "You fully understood the fact that I'm pregnant and you coldly accused me of sleeping with another man."

"Buffy, I didn't think I could be a father, love." Spike closed his eyes in frustration, as he couldn't make himself see the pain that Buffy had in her eyes. Pain that he had caused. "Been with a lot of women and none of them ever got pregnant."

"How many did you leave alive before you could find out whether they were pregnant?" Buffy spat out in anger.

"Not many Buffy," Spike leaned over the bed and looked at her. "But none of them were The Slayer or someone that I loved so much that I'd die for her."

"Spike, you can be such a bastard," Buffy hit him across the chest. "You didn't believe me and now why the sudden change of heart?"

"Because I'm an idiot forgetting that my girl's special," Spike pulled her closer to him as he now looked with love deep into her eyes. "Buffy you're the Slayer who knows how that affects your body and we've seen so many things over the years, love. Who says that a Slayer getting knocked up by a vamp wasn't going to be one of them? I was wrong. I'm sorry. Buffy, please forgive a stupid vampire for doubting you."

"How did you come to that conclusion Mr. Smarty-pants?" Buffy tried to control her breathing as Spike began licking her neck with the tip of his tongue. Spike always knew the quickest way to dispel her anger and catch her breathe at the same time. Taking her into his arms, Spike lay Buffy down on her back, covering her front with his own.

"Willow locked me up in a cell so that I wouldn't run away," Spike began to kiss her collarbone as Buffy began to relax in his arms as he now held her. He had to hope that she would accept his answer as he doubted that Angel would be too pleased if Buffy found out the truth about his son from Spike. That was something the ponce would have to do for himself. "Always could do my best thinking locked up."

"Spike," memories of times passed between them flashed through her eyes. Times when she wouldn't have trusted him to be locked up with her anywhere. "Stop it. I can't think when you do that. You can't expect me to just forgive you and be all lovey-dovey."

"I don't," Spike lifted his head away from her neck just for a moment. "All I can ask is that you start to forgive me and let me stay with you and the baby."

"Spike…"

"I cannot imagine my life without you or the baby," Spike kissed her on the lips. "Rather be dust than with out you."

"You've got a lot to make up for, Spike," Buffy whispered softly. "Might be nice to have a willing slave for the rest of the year at least. Making good on not believing me."

"You've always had a willing slave Buffy, or do I need to sing it to you again," Spike reminded her of the time they'd been pursued by Sweet the singing demon. "Remember it was the second time you kissed me."

"I kissed you? No, you kissed me," Buffy gently bit his lip. "You grabbed me in the alley that time"

"Did not," Spike licked the skin of his now sore lip. "You kissed me that first time and well…in the alley we kissed _each other_, thank you."

"Spikey got a booboo?" Buffy leaned over and softly kissed the area where she'd left her mark. She sat up, as Spike didn't respond to her kiss and began pouting as Buffy acted sorrowfully towards him.

"Buffy," Spike smiled devilishly at Buffy as she extended her bottom lip like she had once before many years ago under Willow's spell and they'd become 'engaged'. "Gonna get it…" Spike leaned over and grabbed the soft flesh between his teeth and lips until reaching the end he consumed her mouth with his own as he plunged his tongue deep inside her mouth for a passionate kiss. Breaking away for just a brief second to catch her breath, Buffy gazed at her man who had come back to her again.

"You've already got me," Buffy whispered to him. "I love you so much."

"Love you too Slayer."

"I always knew that Spike. Always."

Part Eleven

Live and Breathe…

Buffy relaxed against Spike as he held her from behind, her back covered his chest. Spike could feel her breathing slow down, as she lay within his arms unperturbed by anything going on around her. Buffy took a deep breath as Spike ran his hand up over her swollen abdomen and cupped one of her breasts in his hand. Gently Spike massaged her soft mound and tweaked the nipple as it hardened under his touch, as Spike pulled the fabric away from Buffy's other breast and exposing it to his other hand.

"Mr. Summers!" a woman walked around to them as she noticed she'd lost their attention. "Mrs. Summers, please control your husband."

Buffy pushed herself down until her feet touched the floor of the pool, with her arms flaring out so quickly she splashed half of the people in the pool with water. Buffy began to splutter and cough as she tried not to swallow the salty liquid as water entered her open mouth. Spike took a large step back from her quick awkward movements and began laughing at seeing Buffy lose her composure under his caress. Others in the evening aqua class for pregnant parents, laughed at the couple caught being frisky in the pool. Some out rightly laughed and others tried to keep their composure behind cheeky smiles. Buffy turned to Spike, and splashed him with a wave of water before he knew it.

"Mr. and Mrs. Summers if you both cannot control yourself than can I suggest you both come back next week when you can." The old matronly midwife was getting more annoyed with the couple that was spoiling her aqua class for pregnant women. This week unfortunately was time to start involving the partners and there was always one couple who didn't take things seriously. Mr. and Mrs. Summers appeared to be that one couple, making the midwife shake her head at the young couple.

"Sorry, Sister Brown." Buffy smacked Spike across the chest under the water but with enough force that it created ripples across the whole pool. "Say sorry to Sister, Mr. Summers."

"Sorry Sister…" Spike look sternly at the older woman and pulled Buffy back against him as he whispered in Buffy's ear. "Woman has to be a demon. Can't I just take a bite out of her?"

"Spike, no." Buffy elbowed in the ribs this time. "Stop it."

"Make me," Spike smiled at her with a knowing grin.

"One last lap around the pool people," Sister Brown instructed her students and with great reluctance, even Spike begrudgingly dived under the water to do one last lap. He had to keep up with Buffy who was already half way around the small pool doing even strokes with her arms. Finishing before the other couples, Buffy and Spike waded to the back of the pool again.

"Alright everyone lets call it a night. Can I suggest that you ladies spend a bit more time in the pool doing your breathing technique. Enjoy the weightlessness of the water and it should help you feel yourself breathe. Visualize, like I told you…picture yourself giving birth." The midwife looked over the couples and was satisfied that they had in general had a good session, except for one thing. "Partners and husbands are not essential next week. They can come if they like but only if they behave." She looked straight at Spike and glared at him. "Alright people have a good evening."

The class clapped in thanks to the midwife for the class and began to wade to the steps out of the pool. Leaving only a few couples in the pool, most just relaxing together in the water and some played liked children allowed a bit longer in the pool. Spike grabbed onto Buffy holding her against his frame as he walked them to the deeper and deserted end of the pool. Holding onto Spike to hold her head above the water, Buffy came to rest against the back wall of the salt-water pool. Spike pushed any lose tendrils of hair that had come to rest on her face over her ears, his other hand rested on her bottom, helping to support her weight in the water.

"You're going to get us thrown out of the class if you keep trying to feel me up like that," Buffy shook her head. "We made love all last night and before we got here…"

"Never get enough of you, Buffy." Spike ran his hand from her ear and down her neck until he cupped her breast underneath her swimsuit. "Such a little hottie in a tight little cossie."

"Cossie? Hottie?" Buffy pulled her head back a little with a look of questioning written all over her face. "Spike, speak English and please no more poems or I'll call you, William the Bloody, again."

"You're telling an Englishmen to speak English," Spike leaned over and kissed her on the nose ignoring her poke at his former title. "Goldilocks, you're a beauty in a tight swimsuit. Is that a better translation for you? And I was William the Bloody, thank you very much little girl."

"Lucky you don't have to breathe or I'd drown you here and now," Buffy threatened him softly. "But a hottie Spike, me? I'm more like a whale in a piece of Lycra."

"Buffy, you're pregnant. What did you except love, that bub would just pop out before you started to show?" Spike moved his hand from her breast and to the swell of her abdomen. "You are the most beautiful creature on earth, love. Gloriously pregnant with our child. Delightfully curved with… "

"My god, Spike, please enough," Buffy sighed at his attempt to placate her.

"It'll never be enough Buffy, nothing could come close to this little miracle you carry. Nothing." Spike leaned over her and kissed her gently. "Now could we go home and get back to what we were doing before we got here?"

"Spike your insatiable," Buffy laughed at him. "Can't I just have a lie down first? I'm tired."

"You can lie down…as long as you're under me screaming my name out," Spike titled his head and smiled his cocky grin when he started to get playful with her.

"As I live and breathe Spike, one day…" Buffy sighed.

"Well love, words never spoken so true," Spike lightly kissed her between his words.

"Spike, you're the walking undead. You don't live and breathe anything."

"Yes I do, Buffy," laying a hand over her abdomen and swirling his hand over where their baby lay. "I live and breathe because of you. Because of the gift of life and love you've given me through the baby."

Buffy thought about it for a moment and placed her hand over his as it lay over her swollen abdomen. "Live and breathe in us, my love."

Epilogue

Email to Willow,

I have attached a copy of a prophecy that I came across lat night and I think that it may have some relevance to our discussions of late. I hope that you find it helpful. Unfortunately, I can't stay online for long for fear that Angel may look over my shoulder anytime. I have interpreted the relevant passages that I think apply to the current situation.

Yours Sincerely

Wesley Wyndam-Price

Attachment as follows

One chosen is born to light,

One lost is reborn to night,

One chosen to walk in shadow,

One lost to burn in reverence.

Battle amongst themselves,

Shadow against shadow,

Love and hate entwined,

Destiny and fate enlightened.

Fight against the beast that was,

Fight against the beast that is,

Fight against the beast that will be.

One lost to burn in reverence,

One chosen to lead the many,

One once lost shall be reborn,

One once chosen shall be liberated.

By trial of love, hate and pain,

One chosen shall find their final prize,

One lost shall find their love emulated,

By trial they will find their greatest desire.

By the Power that is, was and shall be,

Devine intervention will reign,

Two shall be born into three.

One chosen for each generation.

Willow,

This is the best translation I can do at the moment, it's very crude but the best I could do in such a short time. I hope that it helps despite not making much sense. I'm not sure what the prophecy means but I suppose we're bound to find out.

Please email me if you require further assistance.

Wesley

The End?

A/N: Over too soon for you? Too simplistic finish? Hmmm have patients while I think about where this might go. It was only meant to be a ficlet but…..

Email me and let me know if I should 


End file.
